Posted in Humor

Tuk Tuk Haggling

This one is for all those who love the auto ๐Ÿ™‚

The 3 -wheeled bug (also called a Rick) looks sooo cute! . And the name ‘Tuk Tuk’ makes it sound so adorable. Alas! The rose comes in a thorn shrub – the Auto Driver ! If you have even stepped into Chennai City for a day, you will know what I mean.

Ground Rules
Before you get into the auto, fix the price for your journey.(The meter is static in static condition and static in running condition.)If you are still alive after hearing the ‘quote’, start the haggling process. If he quotes 100, start at 60. If the guy doesnt believe in negotiation, walk away before he asks you to(The dignity saving move) If he does negotiate(this is more likely), still walk away. Our hero is used to this game. He will give his finalย  when you have reached the rear wheel of the auto. Crib like you are unhappy and get in.He will repeat the gesture for you (You know,Petrol price is up and all).


The Roadmap in a Rolls Royce
This guy is typically found near Koyambedu bus stop, Kathipara flyover and Chennai Central. Any place you ask will be faaaar away and we will need his Rolls Royce to cover the distance.T he quotation will look more like a cost to the moon and back. Some road has been made one-way for him. ‘Suthitu poganam’ he says. And then the journey is full of twists and turns, more like a daily soap (Come a long way, but not too far from where it all started). And all the while, the map cribs.

Walking Ballot Box
The auto has a picture of Amma /Ayya/the red and black flag/the black and red flag. In a way, it is a caution on the kind of political view expected from the passenger. God save you if he is not a follower of the ruling party. Even the rainmade pothole is the outcome of administrative inefficiency.The strong political views ring in your ears, long after the dude in khaki has found his next audience.

Karl Marx in Khaki
This guy runs some small time press and claims his newspaper to be widely read and appreciated for ‘truth and boldness’. He is a poet and a socialist. (Due respect to his socialism, but we dont need to listen to every poem you have written, not when we dont understand most of it). Whats more? He is the angry young man – Big B and Style Icon in a bundle. Dont come in his way! Just listen to his speech (you dont have any option, considering it isnt wise to jump out of a running auto.Trust me, the urge would be too strong)

Gin(ie) in a bottle
Well… this one has…ahem…got a little ‘tipsy’. Say your best prayers.

The Business Class
This has got to do more with the auto… posh interiors et al… with Vijay to the right and the ever-so-colourful Vijaykanth looming on the left of the seat. Virtual passengers, eh? There is also in-auto audio entertainment. ‘Peppy’ tamil numbers bring a treat to the ear drums and add to the pleasant Chennai summer.Call that business class travelling, probably.

Shhhh koi hai
Is this driver plain grumpy? Is he the epitome of serenity ? or Are we not wanted in his auto? I dont know.But there is this eerie silence about him…

Hopefully you got the right change! Else,Happy Landing to you ๐Ÿ™‚

Dont think running to Bengaluru is an escape! Thats a different story altogether. At any point of time,

  • No auto will go where you want to go.
  • Invariably, every auto will pay tribute to the fuel station in peak traffic.
  • And Himesh Reshmiya will be excited with this fan following…