Vivegam Mayhem

I love illogical movies. This exquisite taste of mine gives me an opportunity to choose from a plethora of special movies tailor made for me. And trust me, being made with the noblest of intentions, they never disappoint.

Just so you know, this is one of the most difficult genres to make. It represents the absolute pinnacle of sales and marketing excellence. You have convinced somebody to pay you heaps of money and you con your way into making the artists say it is an opportunity of a lifetime . And you hold on steadily to your loose logic for an entire period of film-making because if you can’t believe you are doing this, then who else will?

A trailer with Ajith can be quite alluring for the gullible audience -which is what led me to tune into Vivegam on that fine May Day morning. And after an entire week, I am still struggling to come to terms with what I have been put through. Three hours, three hundred paradoxes.

First of all, it took a few minutes for my eyes to settle down. The camera had no vivegam whatsoever.  I convinced myself that the whole thing was shot like a Tehelka sting operation. And in the middle of it all, a pepper-haired guy was walking about doing nothing – Like ‘ Enakum idhukum no sambandham’.  When it dawned on me that this guy is Ajith in his most stylish form, Vivek Oberoi came trotting along. Why was the movie named after him? Anyway, he is the first person I have come across all my life who constantly addresses his friend as Nanba. Good morning, Nanba. Very good, Nanba. Congratulations, Nanba. May be the string was appended to every sentence, while programming him. Something like, Artificial intelligence without the intelligence.

When I was still reeling under the Nanbaning. AK’s wife, KA, made an appearance. If not for a missing orange robe, she could have easily passed off as a disciple of a self styled Godman. AK’s wife be so sanskari, she wearing full sleeved blouse and cotton saree in Serbia. And poor Serbian children learning to Sa Pa Sa from her.

Now I heard Akshara Haasan was thoroughly impressed with the script when she signed up for it. Apparently the character had so many layers. Yenna layer? Illa, yenna layer-nu kekarein? Naturals layer-a? Green trends layer-a?  Bike ride with Ajith, Car ride with Ajith, date with hologram and still, layer didn’t understand when someone asked her to sit inside the car. Pottu-nu adi vaangi gone. Also, I want that phone with such a powerful speaker, you can hear baby’s heartbeat from inside mummy’s tummy via ultrasound machine in the midst of a bike chase. iPhone to Iiophone.

Now AK’s resurrection is a thing of legends. He falls from a tree, and is presumed dead. And then he is doing crunches against a tree, and then he is deadlifting with a tree log , and then sumo-squatting with the log and then battle-roping with branches and all of a sudden sitting on a railroad track, ready for war. Mara-ka mudiyaadha performance.

Unable to bear the atrocities of her music class, when KA is finally tied to a chair and contained in a cave,  she forgets her own name. She even goes to the extent of asking Nanba robot for her full name. And when AK comes to meet the nanba guy, KA starts to sing. At this point, every soul in the audience sheds a drop of tear for the Serbian kids who have been subjected to her shruti potti.

But the most pertinent question of it all is the existence of an all Indian anti-terrorist squad in Serbia. And Vivek Oberoi having more security than Kim Jong Un.

But I guess, that is the thing with such movies. I was still reeling under the effect of this masterpiece and then Vishal came along. In no time, he just tied up his future mother-in-law and two of her sisters in gunny bags and effortlessly flung them from ground to first floor to kick off the next riot.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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